Just Believe
Yesterday, I got some “Hallelujah” news. When I called Mark to tell him the results we have been waiting for 4 weeks to hear, his response floored me. ”Just as I had known all along.”
It became one of those “Huh” moments for me. And when I sit down and really think about it, God had already clued me into the fact that everything was going to be okay.
How sad that I literally worried over the outcome for 7 months when God had already said, “It will be fine.” I felt the peace at the very moment that I asked if all was going to be well…..WELL…. I didn’t believe God. I had to wade through tears, worry, sleepless nights and turmoil in order to hear the “truth” from a human doctor. I am not saying that I would have refused the testing but I could have saved myself a whole lot of worry if I had just believed God.
It makes me wonder if I actually enjoy having something to worry over. Can I safely say that I am using “chaos” to get some sort of pathetic kick? Is it that I get attention? Or fulfilling something I think I need….. like excitement?
It literally makes me hang my head down in shame….. especially after this morning, I opened my Bible to find an inspiration for today’s blog. I was pointed to Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Obviously, I say I trust the Lord but am I with my whole heart? I can say I lean more to my own understanding…..I have to keep rehashing, replaying and retelling chaos to try to make sense of things, when God just needs me to acknowledge him. For me just to ask Him and to believe Him, I will find myself in a more peaceful path moving forward. I have to stop making these exhausting elaborate detours away from God. If only I can just allow myself to believe Him.
I would definitely have a better attitude, a better experience, and a better night’s rest……
God Bless……
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