This morning, I asked Jesus to join me for a walk.  We were walking around the basketball court and I was doing most of the talking.  Explaining my feelings and that I am really feeling a spiritual workout from all the homework Beth Moore has me doing from the “Breaking Free” study.

I have a tendency to close up whenever I do a study or am reading a “get yourself together” self-help book; and this time I had promised myself that I would get through whatever comes my way…. facing my giants, you might say…..  So last night, Beth Moore challenged me to take a hard truthful look at the strongholds that I have struggling to remove from my life.

So this morning…. what a perfect opportunity to have Christ on my walk…..  because for the first time….EVER….I wanted to stare down what has kept me in captivity….. I was about to get honest….. real honest… scary honest….Mr. T “I pity the fool” honest…..I began explaining the emotions that have been driving the eating….the hurt, the betrayal, the pain, the suffering…..then out of no where I begin to list details of events that I had endured over the years…details:  so and so did this, said this, looked at me like this….. get the picture.  Hello!  Regina!  Christ was there!  Remember???

It was like Christ stopped me grabbing my arm and saying, “If this is going to be a pity party, I’m outta here.”  No, no… I reassured myself…..no pity party this time…. so I began to talk to Christ about the truth of the matter….I’m being badgered by stuff I need to banish.  Then WHAM!  Details start popping back up in my head.

So then, I literally stopped walking and said:

I’m sorry Jesus….. Satan is up in my head filling me full of details again.   Now Satan….

I turned to the left….

Satan, BACK OFF, BUCKO!!  I am not falling for that again.  No more pushing play on my memory file.  I don’t want to hear those details again!!

Turning back to the right….

Jesus….surround my thoughts.  Keep Satan’s dirty little paws off my memory buttons.  I’m tired.  I’m ready to heal.  I want freedom from all the “wrongs” that I have stored up there in my memory.  I want to stop the cycle and I need help keeping Satan out of my head.

Then I started walking again…..I felt liberated.  On lookers probably thought I had lost my mind…..but, nevertheless,  I feel liberated.

God Bless

Related posts:

1. Looking Back
2. Good to be Back