This morning’s Bible study is centered around the book, Having a Mary Heart in a Marth World.  If you haven’t read this book, please do.  It has lots of worthy discussion and self talk that needs to be done by every Christian woman finding herself too busy to make room for Christ.  I chose this Bible study for a reason.  I am having trouble with finding quiet time.

I thought that I had to set a particular time to study with God.  That I had to get up in the wee hours of the morning and open my Bible and study guide.  I thought I had to do it every morning the same way and at the same time.  Schedule my time with God… to be more exact.  Well, I never succeeded.  I always found myself falling asleep with my Bible open and drool covering the study guide.  So I changed to a shorter devotional book.  Again, I fell asleep.  So I journaled…. asleep or worse gave it up because of one reason or another.  I kept changing my avenue and continued to fail.  I had a preconceived notion of how I should spend my time with God.  That notion just set me up for failure.

So, I quit my job.  Thinking that staying home would make me have more time to spend with God.  Well, that hasn’t happened because I have scheduled my time with laundry, vacuuming, crafting, painting, volunteering, visiting…. and my list can go on forever. My schedule prevented me from the precious good intended time with God.

I thought I had the perfect solution.  I would invite God to do my daily chores with me.  He and I spent every moment cleaning the house.  You can read some of my posts where I am found out hanging out my laundry with God.   One day, I actually told God I was putting on my Armor.  Plastic gloves and a sword that was in reality a toilet brush.  I told Him my troubles as I scrubbed my toilets.  I thought I had it figured out.  I was including God but I was busy.  Busy running my mouth and multi-tasking.

Well, guess what, I was busted today.  In class, the leader explained when we are multi-tasking with God we are not solely or soulfully paying attention to Him.  Yea, He may be there pointing out the near misses while dusting.  He may be there listening to me go on and on about a problem.  But do I really hear Him and His solutions to my ever present grief?

Once again, I am a woman of Mary desperately stuck in the body of Martha.  I want to be Mary with all my being.  I want to strive for that ability to put everything aside and listen to God.  But the Martha in me keeps butting in.  Then I get busted again.  Martha made the change.  She didn’t stay the Martha Stewart of the premodern world.  She learned how to let things go.  She did exactly what she was meant to do… to be the example for all the women of the world……  To be the Proverbs 31 woman and a Mary.

Can anyone out there relate???  Can you feel my pain?  My desire to be a better Godly woman??  A better example to our daughters???  It is a struggle I am willing to fight.  Perhaps, I can say it better……I want to be Martha…. the wiser one.

God Bless!!

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1. Regina, Regina…..
2. Wanna Laugh?
3. A Friend in Need